Friends as Family

I miss Alison more than I can say. I miss being able to depend on someone, ask them to give meds to my cat or drive me to the airport or make me grilled cheese when I'm sick or listen to me spiral down a black hole over a boy.

When I moved back to Seattle, I naively thought I could continue building the life I had in Philadelphia. I have friends here but that's just it: they are friends. Alison has become family. Someone who I don't have to hide my foul moods from or feel guilty when I ask for a favor. I miss that feeling of Alison having my back. She's there for me as much as she can be by phone and e-mail and occasional visit but it's not the same. She understood that when I decided to move. It's taken me two painful years to fully grasp the implications of my cross-country relocation. I don't regret the move—I'm building a nice life here now—but I live without the feeling of security I had every time Alison fell asleep on my floor or met me at the gym for a half-assed workout or cracked me up over a BLT at Zeke's.

Good thing for me that I'm visiting her (and get to meet her boyfriend at long last!) in August and she's making the trek out here in September.

B-days on opposite coasts

Jen and I have spent a handful of birthdays in the same city, living it up, and a couple on opposite coasts, since she moved to Seattle two years ago. This year was a big one for her, and the best thing I could think to do was plan a trip so we could celebrate in person. I like the idea of celebrating b-days months later when it suits everyone. My friend Evelyn turned 40 in April but wanted a summer party in her dad's gorgeous Lancaster County backyard, so she had it this weekend. My grandmother used to have Christmas in July so that she could spoil all of us grandkids in person before heading south to Florida for the summer. And now Jen and I will be celebrating her b-day not in late June, as in years past, but in mid-September, when the weather is dry in Seattle and the lattes are flowing just as yummy. I can't wait. I love spoiling my friends for their birthdays, but it's even more fun to spoil them on their home turf, especially when that's thousands of miles away in a dream of a city.

I turn 35 in October, and I think I should plan the 30th birthday party I never had, due to a debaucle of a housesitting situation and an overall pre-mid-life crisis. Maybe Gavin's house will be done by then and he'll let me bring humans here instead of just pets. I like the idea of inhabiting a new space with the people I love. I like the idea that it would be in Gavin's space, where I am spending more and more time and liking it more and more. My dream would be that Jen would be here, too, having spent enough time with Gavin and me to feel like part of the family. That one may have to be put off a few months, too, which is fine with me. Those who know me know that I have a high degree of comfort with the flixibility of time.

Regardless, having the b-day that keeps on giving is peachy to me. If we keep insisiting on making meaning out of these milestones, we might as well get a couple of chances as it.